جوکهای دارویی - طنز

یکشنبه دوم تیر 1387

مرجع : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PRNPharmacists

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, aged 89, are all excited about their
desision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding
and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in. He
addresses the pharmacist, "We're about to get married. Do you sell
heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for
circulation? "
Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medication for rheumatism,
scoliosis?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely" Jacob: "How about Viagra?" Pharmacist: "Of
course"
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist:
"Yes, a large variety." Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills,
agarol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely. "
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?" Pharmacist: "All speeds and
sizes" Jacob says to the pharmacist: "We'd like to register for our
wedding gifts here please!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some
bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the
woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying
the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some
more.

"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."

"But I always get it here," says the blonde.

"Do you have the container it comes in?"

"Yes!" said the blonde, "I will go get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who
looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of
underarm deodorant."

The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud
from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The young pharmacist who had been married just a couple of weeks came
home from a busy day at the pharmacy. He was dead tired and laid down
on the couch completely exhausted.

His young bride realizes his situation and begins to shower him with
sympathy and attention. "I know you have had a busy day, Dear, and I
can see that you are tired and hungry. Would you like a nice steak
smothered with mushrooms, a fresh vegetable, some french fries and a
big slice of apple pie?"

The exhausted pharmacist looked up at his new bride and answered, "Not
tonight, Dear, I'm too tired to go out."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Pharmacist with a Problem
The doctor had been treating Murphy for a couple of weeks but Murphy
still suffered with constipation.

"Your condition really has me stumped," said the doctor.

"Tell me, what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a pharmacist," said Murphy.

The doctor took out his billfold, handed Murphy a $10 bill and
said, "That figures. Here, go and get something to eat!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Following Doctor's Orders

Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel
miserable.

Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?

Patient: I sure did. The bottle said "keep tightly closed."


------------------------------------------------------------------------

Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a
pole for dear life - not breathing, not moving, not twitching a
muscle - just standing there, frozen.The pharmacist, seeing this
strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and
asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"
Assistant replies, "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and
none of my prescriptions seemed to help." Pharmacist says, "He seems
to be fine now." Assistant replies, "Sure, he is. I gave him a box of
the strongest laxatives on the market...
Now he won't dare cough!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A funny story I know comes from someone's father-in-law who is a
pharmacist. One of his customers complained that the capsules she'd
been given weren't working. "Oh," he said, "You've been taking them
the wrong way. You have to take them so that the green half goes in
first." He said that she stopped by a week later to let him know that
her medication was working fine now!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A doctor is to give a speech at the local medical association dinner.
He jots down notes for his speech. Unfortunately, when he stands in
front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read
his notes.
So he asks, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day,
picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy,
"Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him.
He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these
you would be able to swim and ride a bike.
He can't do either one!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

What chemical is this?
> HIJKLMNO

> Answer: water H to O (H2O)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

> What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nick and iron?
> a KNiFe

------------------------------------------------------------------------


نوشته شده توسط هادی(نوید) اخوت پور در 0:1 یکشنبه دوم تیر 1387 |  لینک مطلب   نظرات :